Online Friends Are Real Friends

Posted by Tomte 2 days ago

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Comments

Comment by evaneykelen 2 days ago

My son made online friends when he was 14, playing games together with them on Steam. When he is playing a game with them, I often hear him roar with laughter, but they can also be quite serious and talk about life and school. Last month, we took him to Wrocław to meet them, and it was marvelous. My wife and I got to know the parents of these boys (16-17 yo now), had dinner together, and we separated as friends. My son had a blast that week finally meeting them in person.

Comment by MomsAVoxell 2 days ago

Had plenty of online friends come and go. What I found is that it usually took online relationships longer to get to know each other in some ways, and quicker in other ways.

It was no fun realizing after a few IRL visits that we really just didn't like each other unless careful email communications was our primary means of interaction.

With some folks the time it takes to write an email is all the filter is needed. Sometimes, though, it only takes 5 minutes IRL to realize that you only like the persons email - not the person, themselves.

Comment by win311fwg 2 days ago

> This will be the sixth time that at least one of us has traveled to hang out with the other.

Are these really online friends if you are also recognizing them as real-life humans that exist in the same world you do and treat them like you would any other friend? Aside from maybe the Amish (and even that's questionable if you pay close enough attention to what they are hiding), there is almost nobody who doesn't communicate with friends using electronic devices. That is not a unique property.

"Online friend" only seems like a useful distinction if you truly think of them as a some kind of nebulous chat entity that comes to you via a connected device, where specific implementation details be it human, AI, space alien, or magical fairy doesn't play into the experience. Where if you eventually found out that it was actually ChatGPT on the other end you wouldn't be disappointed.

Comment by jerlam 2 days ago

The definitions seem kind of arbitrary, online friend seems to mean either:

1. friend who you primarily communicate online

2. friend where initial contact was made online

Option 1 seems odd, especially for friends who have moved. Are they reclassified as "online friend"? Option 2 represents only a single moment in time and seems to have little bearing on everything past that initial contact.

Also some people seem to classify "real friend" as "friend that I physically see on a regular basis".

Comment by en3r0 2 days ago

Here's the problem with online relationships, you can pick them up and drop them whenever you like. You can do that in real life to a degree, but sometimes you are forced to confront friends in real life when you don't want to. A real friend requires surviving a degree of confrontation.

Comment by ASalazarMX 2 days ago

This is the crucial difference. The online abstraction facilitates behaviors that are destructive to friendship, like ghosting, blocking, or even banning if you have admin powers in their meeting place.

Also, since real life is abstracted online, small issues tend to become dramatic because. It takes courage, and some recklessness, to open yourself to a total stranger that might not even be what they claim to be. For us who saw the initial anonymous wild west of the Web, it's difficult to trust people online. It might be different with younger generations that grew up with having their real identity open in several mainstream places.

Comment by PeterStuer 2 days ago

Hard disagree. Online friends are easy to ditch. Real life friends are around wether you like it or not. That fact alone has huge repercussions.

Comment by nly 2 days ago

Presumably that depends on the context in which your 'real life' friends see you

Comment by TFNA 2 days ago

Real-life friends are ditching each other commonly these days, because the Block function on Whatsapp (or whatever app they use to communicate) seems so convenient and consequence-free.

Comment by PeterStuer 2 days ago

Maybe I'm old school, but if you can erase someone from your life because you block them on an app, this probably was not 'real-life'?

Comment by TFNA 2 days ago

In 2026, the way that friends who don't see each other at work/school arrange to meet and maintain that friendship, is via WhatsApp or the local equivalent.

Comment by nazgulsenpai 2 days ago

I work fulltime and have 2 kids still at home by myself. I made my two best friends on MMORPGs, one on FFXIV almost 10 years ago now, and one in Black Desert just talking about black metal bands we both liked in server chat.

I have acquaintances IRL, mostly from work. But my actual friends are people who I've never met face-to-face.

Comment by an0malous 2 days ago

How do you make online friends? I’ve been on Reddit for many years and have rarely even DM’ed anyone. I’ve also tried apps like Boo but the conversations always fizzle out.

Comment by xcf_seetan 2 days ago

Mostly on technologies that enables people talking. My first online friends, were from using IRC; I even made local friends, I would never without using the online way. Then I made friends using simple emails to far away people. Next I remember I did a lot of friends using SecondLife, were i found out about "mein sonnenshein", a virtual friend i virtually married 4 times and divorce four times also (it was very cheap like 10 cents to marry and 25 to divorce, lol) and a lot of other good friends; last one i got it in a MMORPG where i saw a "beautiful" elf warrior and started talking to her, and it results she spoke the same language and were in another continent. There is been a lot of time over, but i still make contact with some of them. I would dare to say that the virtual friends were as good as the real ones, because in the end we are all humans and connected with language, and resonate in many ways.

Comment by JumpinJack_Cash 2 days ago

You have to join a more restrict community such as the FIFA PRO Clubs or the Rainbow Six teams or whatever is restrict and gaming thing . The general chatter/board where a plethora of people hangout such as reddit won't get you anywhere just like real life

Comment by TFNA 2 days ago

Reddit hasn't really facilitated friendships (let alone the kind leading to real-life meetups) since the 2018 redesign at least; even before that the site was remarkably impersonal compared to any old-school forum.

Comment by 220hertz 2 days ago

Discord's not a bad way if there's a shared interest. I met some great people on a server dedicated to a hockey team. We'd all watch the game and blather away in chat. You get to know them after a while.

Comment by opengrass 2 days ago

Online friends are as real as sending racy photos then getting extorted for Google Play cards.