The optimal age to freeze eggs is 19

Posted by surprisetalk 1 day ago

Comments

Comment by Aurornis 1 day ago

This is an article that you need to read critically, beyond the headline.

Even a few paragraphs down they say this:

> The optimal age to freeze eggs varies depending on the source and metric, but almost all sources agree it's sometime between 19 and 26.

So there's some heavy bias inserted already into the title.

The next chart shows a peak around 19, but if you read the fine print it's not a chart about eggs at all. The subtitle says it shows:

> probability of getting pregnant for couples not on birth control

Not the quality of eggs frozen. They're saying one thing in text and showing a chart of something else. If you can't imagine why couples in their early 20s might have a higher rate of pregnancy than couples in their 50s then you might want to think a little deeper about the factors that go into that.

The writeup then goes into polygenic embryo screening, which then jumps to improving IQ by selecting embryos, which gets to their final argument which is that it's easier to collect more eggs when younger. So freezing a lot of eggs when you're younger allows for more boosting of your child's IQ through genetic screening based on a company called Herasight's data. Herasight has been widely criticized for overselling their abilities. Also, why do so many rationalist writeups end up back at a conversation about genetics and IQ?

Comment by rsynnott 1 day ago

Well, the website is called lesswrong.com, and not correct.com.

Comment by Aurornis 1 day ago

I tried not to comment directly on the site because I wanted my points to stand on their own. However, Lesswrong has a long history on the internet. It’s part of the “rationalist” writing sphere which has become oddly preoccupied with topics like race and IQ, eugenics-adjacent topics, and never ending flirtations with reactionary ideologies.

Comment by rsynnott 18 hours ago

Oh, yeah, I'm aware.

Comment by Zababa 17 hours ago

That is true but also a bit unfair, they've also been oddly preoccupied with topics like trying to help the most people and frequently promote giving money to efficient charities to fight against malaria, vitamin A deficiencies and help vaccinate children in very poor countries.

Comment by yifanl 16 hours ago

That's their marketing pitch, but revealed preferences are stronger signals than stated ones.

Comment by Zababa 14 hours ago

I agree that revealed preferences are stronger signals than stated ones. https://funds.effectivealtruism.org/ shows 52000 donors for $110M, https://www.givingwhatwecan.org/ says more than 10000 donors and more than $490M given.

Comment by why_is_it_good 20 hours ago

Do you advocate for dysgenics or indifference as to genetic makeup?

Comment by jacquesm 1 day ago

They could have called it morewrong.com or morallywrong for all the right mathematical reasons instead. Their eugenics agenda is really more than a little bit tiresome at this point.

Comment by ml-anon 17 hours ago

Yes, this is utterly fucking bonkers.

Comment by Traster 1 day ago

This article is answering a different question to what it is asking. It's asking "What is the most effective strategy to freeze your eggs if you're absolutely certain you will need to".

The reason women freeze their eggs in their early 30s is because they still have a good chance for it to be effective and they now have a strong idea they'll need to. You don't have that second piece of information at age 19.

Or to be specific: What is the size of the cohort of women you are expecting to freeze their eggs at the age of 19, who will use those frozen eggs. How many of them will give birth to children without the help of IVF, and how many will choose never to have children.

I think this article is a good example of rationalism. Which is basically getting very mathsy about 1 specific very of the data, without viewing the data in the context of the decision that is being made.

For example, what is the percentage of women you expect to freeze their eggs at age 19, who you then expect to be unable to afford the $500 every year to keep those eggs frozen over the next decade?

Comment by stavros 1 day ago

I don't see a very big reason mentioned: You might not need it at all. Sure, the optimal age to freeze might be 19, but if 80% of women are done with children by age 30, why would you have every woman spend the equivalent of buying a small car on something they're overwhelmingly not going to need?

Waiting to get a good balance of "your eggs are still reasonably healthy" and "if you haven't had kids until now, it'll probably be a while still" is probably the reason behind the current advice.

Comment by fweimer 1 day ago

Apparently the harvesting procedure typically (but not always?) involves general anesthesia. That alone is never entirely risk-free. In this context, the temporary loss of bodily autonomy could be particularly problematic. All that comes on top of the required hormone treatment. It's not a trivial procedure.

On the other hand, it may be a useful tool to resist expectations to become a mother until it becomes socially acceptable to say no. So it might be important even if the eggs are not getting used.

Comment by jnwatson 22 hours ago

This is the best argument against early egg retrieval. If it were just a matter of money, the argument holds. However, the treatment involves pumping you with hormones that make you feel like crap the week before and after. Almost daily bloody draws are involved.

Then you add potential complications from anesthesia and the egg retrieval itself, and you have a net negative expected value.

The first time my wife underwent egg retrieval, the surgeon accidentally pierced her ovary. She has had pain on that ovary since.

Comment by greygoo222 1 day ago

There's no way it's a worthwhile investment to invest thousands of dollars and take on significant risk and discomfort just for a tool to "resist expectations." You should invest that in a therapist. Or moving to a different state.

Comment by ido 17 hours ago

> if 80% of women are done with children by age 30

Is this assumption based on anything? Not saying you're wrong, after all the majority of the world's population live in poor countries where people have children younger. But at least In my social circles it'd be more accurate to say 80%+ of women start having children at age 30 (or later) then are done with it. And I know multiple women who had their first child at 40+!

Comment by stavros 16 hours ago

No, the number is made up, I'm saying that there's a point where the advice makes sense. Whether or not that's actually the case now is then a matter of statistics.

Comment by arjie 1 day ago

If you're curious what it's like for a couple of normies doing IVF, I wrote down our experience here to the degree I remembered: https://wiki.roshangeorge.dev/w/IVF

Comment by WarmWash 1 day ago

If I'm understanding that right, it cost $25k per run, and you did 3 runs, so $75k total? Or was it $25k for the full thing? Did insurance cover anything?

Comment by arjie 1 day ago

Our IVF clinic has a publicly available price sheet[0] so that is correct (thought he prices are higher now): $75k total for us. My wife and I are relatively old. Friends who were approximately 10 years younger collected some 50 eggs on a single cycle. There is a drop-off in egg -> embryo but the women with the 50 eggs are likely going to end up with more usable embryos than us.

Insurance coverage is broader now. When we did it, we used cash pay but nowadays where we live in California there is SB 729 that means most big insurance plans will cover IVF. Personally, I think that's a bit regressive. Older, more established couples like us are benefiting from what will be primarily paid into by younger couples. But if pre-implantation testing becomes widespread (a good thing, imho) then IVF will be more widespread so perhaps this is a forward-looking policy. Still, expanding the child tax credit and raising it to 10x what it is would be good, I think.

0: https://springfertility.com/finance/

Comment by conductr 1 day ago

Didn't read that account but I went through it with wife. The egg collecting / embryo creating process is the expensive part, so depends on how many times you have to do that process. The re-implantation was significantly cheaper, so also depends on how many times you have to do that part but at least its less costly.

We ended up doing 1 extraction and 2 implantations. If I remember it was roughly ($15k-20k) then (~$5k * 2). This was about 8-9 years ago. We had no fertility issues and had other reasons for doing IVF, but if you do have fertility issues it's more risk the extraction and embryo process will fail and need repeating.

Comment by morkalork 1 day ago

I went through this with my partner and it cost around CAD $30K all-in. Thankfully it was 100% covered by insurance (for the drugs) and by a provincial program (for the procedure).

The drugs for stimulating follicle growth cost around $500/day and the first cycle didn't result in enough mature follicles to be worth attempting the egg harvesting. In the second attempt, the duration was extended after a scan to let more develop. Every extra day, is an another $500.

If it weren't for the government program we were seriously looking at going to one of the many clinics in Mexico offering these services.

We weren't so lucky with the numbers though; here's significant attrition at every step and if you aren't starting with a good number it can look like: 5 follicles > 4 mature eggs > 2 embryos > 1 child

Comment by tonymet 1 day ago

how were the adverse effects during the hormone / endocrine therapy for her?

Comment by arjie 1 day ago

This is a common question we get. I will ask her again and add it there, but she described:

* feeling bloated during the process (and feeling heavy in the stomach)

* the discomfort of the actual injections (there are two daily)

* pain post-retrieval that was reminiscent of cramps

One of our other friends who had many eggs retrieved on a single cycle actually got ovarian torsion which is supposed to be outrageously painful.

Comment by tonymet 1 day ago

thanks for sharing that's helpful. I've heard similar to more moderate ill effects from the therapy

Comment by bigtex 1 day ago

This video on YT explains the not much talked about side effects and risks that can come from egg retrieval. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAMrwAGR3GA

Comment by tonymet 1 day ago

The video was helpful and addressed many of the clinical and ethical concerns I have. Can you consent to a procedure that has a 30+ year impact? Are these treatments completely safety tested if long term studies are not being done? What are the ethics of making women take health risks for money, especially when health is increasing in value, and money is losing its value

Comment by tonymet 1 day ago

thanks . yeah i had a close family member do the same and it was a pretty long and painful process. it was > 10 years ago but I think the concerns are still similar.

Comment by looselygoosy 1 day ago

I've been through six egg retrievals. I've probably been lucky in the the physical effects weren't bad for me (but I've had/have endometriosis so I'm pretty used to just dealing with pain and discomfort). The emotional effects were harder. Not just the stress of not knowing whether it was even going to work (most times it didn't), but also the hormonal shifts resulting in rapid mood swings and irritability - which my partner found hard to deal with.

Comment by tonymet 1 day ago

I appreciate you mentioning the mood effects because I've heard those are pretty common too. Also weight gain , bloating and skin issues.

Comment by davidelettieri 1 day ago

Having done IVF with my wife I think this is the most underrated fertility advice available today.

I don't understand why governments of countries with increasing average age and low birth rate don't pay for this for all women. This is one the best pro-family policies that can be implemented.

Comment by Aurornis 1 day ago

> This is one the best pro-family policies that can be implemented

Hard disagree on that. You're coming from an angle of someone who wanted to have kids and do it in a mathematically optimal way. A lot of people see egg freezing as a way to delay having kids until they're older, which can become a disincentive to raising families when they're young and healthy enough to do it. If you want a pro-family policy, you should be spending the money on people with families and their children, not on a tool that is used to delay having children in common use.

Another huge problem with this proposal is that freezing eggs is only a small part of the cost. The cost of IVF later in life could push into six figures depending on how many rounds are needed. If we're talking about pro-family policies that can cost upwards of $50,000 to $100,000 per family, there are many more effective places to spend that like on childcare options.

Comment by davidelettieri 20 hours ago

IVF in Italy is included in universal health care already, regardless of age.

If the government is going to pay for IVF for 40 years old women it would be cheaper if those women had eggs frozen at 20 because overall you would succeed with fewer embryo transfers.

Of course that's not the only policy needed, we need affordable house for families, schools, decent parental leave for both parents.

Comment by 1 day ago

Comment by drakonka 1 day ago

Most 19 year olds probably wouldn't opt into injecting themselves twice a day for weeks and dealing with the side effects of the injections, then the subsequent extraction procedures (likely for multiple rounds) even if it was paid for. Which is reasonable, considering most women who want children will have them without IVF and don't need to go through any of that.

Comment by ml-anon 17 hours ago

yeah, what the fuck? This comment section is utterly fucking insane.

Comment by ElevenLathe 1 day ago

Doesn't that just make it a cheaper policy to implement, since very few will take advantage of it?

Comment by m00x 1 day ago

It's not only hard and painful, but potentially damaging to the woman's body and could leave them with permanent hormonal issues.

So, no. It's not a good policy.

Comment by projektfu 1 day ago

Then it's not a very good population policy.

Comment by fweimer 1 day ago

It still might end up as yet another thing we do to women's bodies.

Comment by ElevenLathe 1 day ago

To be clear: I agree that it's not great policy to pressure women into doing this (which, arguably, making egg-freezing free would tend to do), bodily autonomy concerns chief among them. It's also not great policy to withhold this as an option from poor women while allowing rich ones access to it (the status quo). The third option would be to ban it, but that has obvious problems too most notably that womens' reproductive health is already surveilled and politicized enough without adding another new crime to police for around it. Allowing it in certain circumstances (a "medical waiver" or similar) just reproduces that same issues as banning it, and would probably be just a waystation on the way to a full ban.

I've yet to see a good proposal for how to regulate or handle this as a society, so my best guess is that we keep the status quo (it's expensive so only rich people can do it) for the foreseeable future UNLESS it becomes some kind of culture war issue for MAGA, which seems honestly pretty likely. Presumably they would want to ban it, but allow exceptions for certain cases that amount to "but is the patient a married white woman with acceptable politics?" in a more legally palatable form.

Comment by moralestapia 1 day ago

Thanks for bringing in some common sense.

Comment by conductr 1 day ago

I went through it with my wife too and expecting a 19 y/o women to go through the IVF process as an insurance policy is a bit insane to me. In our modern, western society, this is age is still solidly childhood with not much definitive thoughts of future family, marriage, etc.

Governments need to make COL more affordable, birth rate will go up naturally

Comment by greygoo222 1 day ago

Calling 19 "childhood" is crazy. Most teens have an understanding of what they want their life to look like.

Comment by conductr 1 day ago

It is crazy but it’s also quite true. People eschew true adult responsibility for much longer these days. It’s a macro trend.

I know there’s a lot of “whys” but not getting married, not having kids, living with parents, etc all compound to remaining a child in some sense and this is continuing well into the 20s and even 30s for a large portion of the demographic.

When it comes to 19 y/o women the fact most internet people would find it gross that 1) highly fertile and 2) desired by old men - is a reality. We tell old men these women are too young yet also won’t admit it’s because they are in some sense still children.

Comment by lurking_swe 20 hours ago

but as someone in my 30s, it’s kind of true…looking back.

I can only speak as a man. I spent my late teens thinking with my penis instead of my brain. Things worked out well for me by pure luck.

Most teens have no real experience with “real” relationships or what makes a great life partner. This is CRUCIAL when parenting. They’re also not thinking about a stable career so they can actually support a baby. Never mind the money…most jobs in the U.S. have garbage health insurance, unless your employer is great.

Many people THINK they know what their life should look like. Then again most teens think they have life figured out lol. A tale as old as time…

I would say mid 20s is an ideal time from a maturity perspective. The best time depends on the person obviously. You can’t plan falling in love. :)

Comment by xboxnolifes 1 day ago

At least with people in my circle of the US, it feels like there's an increasing infantilizing of people (frequently themselves, I'm a bit guilty of this), particularly in regards to things like marriage and raising a family. Yet, by 19 you'll have either made decisions for yourself or someone else has for you, that will likely put you on track for your entire future career direction (education, interests, college choice, maybe even enlisted in the military).

You don't need to have given "definitive thought" to your entire future to not be a child anymore.

Comment by phyzix5761 1 day ago

We definitely need better COL but I'm not convinced it's is the main factor for low birth rates as most countries living in poverty have very high birth rates. I think its a cultural difference that values earlier marriage and heavy family involvement in raising children which, the latter, reduces the stress of having to parent by yourself.

Comment by conductr 1 day ago

I think there’s a middle ground where in the US many people would be having kids around 30 if they could afford it. Our recent past reflects that. Even the number of kids have been reduced as the cost has become too high, so it’s not parenthood or responsibility alone people are avoiding. Comparing to poverty situations introduces a whole plethora of variables. Kids are seen more as assets than liabilities, as they will care for you in old age and/or can contribute to the household after the first dozen or so years. This is not really a comparison to the rich nations.

Comment by CrossVR 1 day ago

That money is better invested in providing affordable family housing. Even if IVF is available no one is going to actually have kids if you do nothing to make it economically sustainable to start a family.

Do we really want to rely on IVF to solve the fact that people can only afford a family home once they're well into their 40s? It's insanity if you ask me.

Comment by alistairSH 1 day ago

We, in the US, don't even have universal day care, or hundreds of other sensible things that would make child-rearing easy/less expensive. Jumping straight to "let's cover expensive IVF programs" is... well a big leap.

Comment by znpy 1 day ago

Of course, there are too many “learing” centers draining resources…

Comment by zzrrt 1 day ago

Then I look forward to DOGE funding more pro-family benefits by eliminating those cases of wasted resources. /s

Comment by znpy 14 hours ago

yup, and that's most likely it's going to be happening automatically.

funding can just be awarded to centers actually performing the work they're paid for, you know.

Comment by jacquesm 1 day ago

Because (1) it's not risk free, (2) it is painful, (3) it is quite costly over the longer term (4) you wouldn't want a 'pro-family' government to have access to a mountain of unfertilized eggs.

Comment by 1 day ago

Comment by thefz 17 hours ago

Because infertility may not be the only reason behind people not procreating in 2026?

Comment by sct202 12 hours ago

At least with people fighting with infertility, they want to have children, so helping them have children is more straightforward list of actions than convincing people who don't want kids to have them.

Comment by NotGMan 1 day ago

This is a peak silicon valley tech bro mentality view.

Instead of doing what the body is natural designed to do lets go fully against it because of the current environment.

Comment by butterbomb 1 day ago

[dead]

Comment by wolvoleo 4 hours ago

Wow at 19 the last thing I was thinking about was children. In fact i didn't even finish college until 23. Didn't stop backpacking the world till 28. And never had kids at all in the end anyway, never missed them.

But at 19 it would have been the last thing on my mind. Too busy studying and getting drunk (ok probably not in that order :) )

Comment by SoftTalker 1 day ago

It's also the optimal age to have children. Fertility is highest, the woman is likely healthy and strong, lowest risk of complications.

Comment by stavros 1 day ago

It's also the optimal age to not have children! You're still figuring out your life, probably no stable partner or job, time to do some stuff you'll regret later, etc.

Comment by SoftTalker 1 day ago

Yes, I was only speaking biologically.

"Figuring out your life" was not a thing when humans evolved.

Comment by ml-anon 17 hours ago

nah you're only speaking out of your ass

Comment by delfinom 1 day ago

Biological optimal vs societal optimal.

Comment by umeshunni 1 day ago

I would reframe it from

> Biological optimal vs societal optimal

> Biological optimal vs personal optimal

Comment by like_any_other 1 day ago

"Societal optimal" should really include consideration of whether that society can sustain itself.

Comment by vintermann 20 hours ago

Sure, but should "societal optimal" be a concern for the individual? I think not. Government economists, maybe.

Comment by like_any_other 48 minutes ago

Rejecting any care or duty towards one's own society is a very modern, very extreme viewpoint. And I don't think it bodes well for societies where it prevails.

Comment by 1 day ago

Comment by wredcoll 1 day ago

Aside from the part where you have to raise them, sure.

Comment by jliptzin 1 day ago

If everyone had kids at 18-20, then the grandparents could take care of the grandkids while in their 40s while the parents build their careers from 20-40, then start taking care of the grandkids as the cycle repeats

Comment by mfitton 1 day ago

And then you end up raising your grandkids instead of the kids you gave birth to. It's not something that comes without cost. And what if you don't particularly trust your parents to raise kids? I suppose you would have no idea whether you did or not, because they would not have parented you...

Comment by bad_haircut72 1 day ago

Peoples 40s and 50s are their most productive years. We would be better off just letting people take 10 years off in their twenties - but most people would just party party party (what they do anyway)

Comment by znpy 1 day ago

Given two parents, there are four grandparents. Sharing the load across six people is much better than sharing between two.

Comment by bad_haircut72 1 day ago

Those four grandparents could end up with anywhere from 1-8+ grandkids though, depending on how many children they had, and how many grandchildren come along

Comment by ml-anon 17 hours ago

have you heard of people not surviving into old age, or not being present or not being able to take care of kids? What the fuck is wrong with people in this comment section?

Comment by znpy 14 hours ago

> have you heard of people not surviving into old age

not really, overall the life expectancy is growing well over 80 years old. unless you live, like, in the woods and feed off berries and hunting or something like that.

and yeah sure there might be somebody that loses their parents at 15, absolutely. i'm sorry for them, but they are not statistically representative in any way.

Comment by ml-anon 11 hours ago

ladies and gentlemen, the fucking state of hn.

Comment by znpy 1 day ago

It really seems you have no idea what you’re talking about.

I have a couple of friends married for about 4-5 years, with a 4-years old son and a one year old daughter. They both have graduate degrees and stable jobs. They are near 40 years old.

Man, they are two zombies. They are drained. They push forward for the immense love of their kids but it’s incredibly evident they’re drained.

And the thing is… having kids at almost 40 should really be discouraged. They simply don’t have the same energy they had when they were 20, of course. Heck, i’m 33 and it’s evident to me I don’t have the same energy as when I was 23.

This modern idea that one should postpone having kids is incredibly stupid, I hope at some point society will self-correct somehow.

Comment by lurking_swe 19 hours ago

ya’ll are talking about 2 separate extremes. Of course each extreme has its own set of cons. Hardly surprising.

At the end of the day it’s a moot point. You can’t pick when you find love and a suitable partner. :)

Comment by znpy 14 hours ago

> You can’t pick when you find love and a suitable partner. :)

that's a moot point as well.

people find suitable partners all the time, but they don't even take having kids in consideration before a certain age

Comment by yosefk 1 day ago

The optimal age to have children is way before you need to rely on frozen eggs (one reason among many being that this process doesn't always work)

Comment by morkalork 1 day ago

My parents and my spouse's parents were all in their late 30s having children, now we're in the same position due to infertility and now finally going through IVF. We're happy it's working but at the same time it's sad knowing they'll grow up never really knowing their grandparents.

Comment by conductr 1 day ago

The grandparent situation is sad af. It's also pretty sad being a mid-40s year old dad that doesn't have the energy to keep up with their kid. I pitched a little league game yesterday and it wiped me out. Also, the fact I (and you) will not know our grandchildren very well also is quite sad.

If my son has his first kid the same age I had him, I'll be in my 80s when that kid is starting little league (or that age). Then, factor in the fact that I don't know of any men in my family that have lived past 80 and it gets really grim. They were all heavy smokers and drinkers I remind myself with fingers crossed.

The most sad part for me, is I realized by delaying parenthood - I was just being selfish - and the net result is I minimized "shared time on earth" with the person I love the most. It's easy to say I wouldn't have been a good parent or I wanted X job/income first, but it's all just excuses and selfishness.

Comment by lurking_swe 19 hours ago

As a soon to be father, all i can say is don’t do this to yourself man! Remember to give yourself grace and kindness. You made what you thought was the best decision at that time. Maybe it was sub-optimal, but don’t try to min-max life. The “what if” game can be a fun game if it’s done with curiosity, but don’t let it consume you. just isn’t worth it.

Comment by greygoo222 1 day ago

If you had kids earlier, you wouldn't get more time with the specific person you love that is your son, you'd get more time with a different son. No doubt you'd love your counterfactual son too. But you shouldn't feel bad for having done any wrong by your real kid. This is the only timeline he could exist in.

Bit of a thorny philosophical argument, maybe, but reasonable in this case.

Comment by conductr 1 day ago

Have considered that as well but shared time with that person would have been more and I would be none the wiser to the actual timeline, so I feel it’s appropriate to treat them as the same “child” instead of theoretical kid vs actual kid and how I’m happy I waited because this kid is so cool, pretty sure I would have felt the same towards the other kid (who knows maybe not but even if he was a jerk of a kid I’d assume a delayed child would have also been a jerk too)

Comment by 1659447091 1 day ago

> ...but shared time with that person would have been more

Sticking to the philosophical arguments, having the kid at any other time, even earlier would not guarantee more time with them. It would have drastically shifted your life events which could include ones that possibly shorten it.

Comment by morkalork 1 day ago

>by delaying parenthood - I was just being selfish.. I minimized "shared time on earth"

Exactly. My advice to anyone is not wait. If we hadn't, we would have found out sonner that we needed to go through that process. It's not a "wake up and schedule an appointment tomorrow" kind of thing, it's a treatment of last resort and you can burn years trying, going through evaluations and alternatives first.

Comment by conductr 1 day ago

Yeah I give same advice, if you know you want kids and found your partner just start soon. We didn’t have many fertility issues just weeding out some unfortunate genetics, but I’ve seen people try for years and it’s really taxing on both the individual and relationship.

The stuff we weeded out was on my wife’s side and the boy ended up being my clone. We joke about it as if we weeded out all of her genes. Even small things like his cowlicks and how his teeth are coming it are exactly like mine which I never would have expected to even be possible (I never gave it much thought tbh)

Comment by ml-anon 17 hours ago

Never has a website's title been so consistently wrong over such a large variety of subjects.

Comment by prmoustache 1 day ago

Since having kids is so tiring in the early years and often lead to a divorce, it is better to have them early when you are still fresh and handle better the lack of sleep, divorce early and then enjoy part time parenthood when you are still youngish.

I feel I am a better parent now that I am sharing custody of my kids and can better balance personal life and hobbies and parenthood.

A cheaper option would be to find someone looking for kids with no romance and agree on having shared parenthood.

Comment by kleiba 1 day ago

I had my kids late in life and I always thought my life experience was a bonus when it came to raising the kids and wrt keeping it together with the wife.

Comment by bdangubic 1 day ago

Same and feel the same (in addition to financial stability) but oh so often I wish I had my kid earlier in my life

Comment by kleiba 19 hours ago

I can relate to that -- perhaps it's a bit the feeling of "missing out", like, when your peers have the time (and energy ;-)) to do fun stuff that you just cannot do because of the kids.

But I'm thinking that I had ample time to make experiences earlier in life, and even though I'm going to be close to retirement age by the time the last one of our children is going to leave the house, I still think it was fine the way it happened.

The whole framing of "I'm missing out because I have kids" is already a pretty terrible way of thinking about life, to be honest. I have a good friends who's divorced and with pretty much no circle of friends, apart from me, and he's really having a hard time coping with loneliness. Me, on the other, I cherish each chance I get to spend some alone time where I can just do hobby stuff or whatever, even though these moments really don't happen very often.

Comment by ytoawwhra92 1 day ago

Rather than accept divorce as an inevitability, there is also the option of discussing the possibility with your partner and making a mutual commitment to do what it takes to stay happy together.

Which is much easier with the added emotional maturity and life experience that comes with age.

Not to mention if you chose your partner after the age of 25.

Comment by UncleMeat 1 day ago

I’m vastly happier having had kids in my 30s rather than my 20s. Greater emotional and financial stability as well as a strong foundation for my marriage were boons.

Comment by bena 1 day ago

I have to ask, what's the custody split?

Comment by prmoustache 1 day ago

50/50

The main downside is relocating is impossible until your kids reach adulthood if you want to keep it that way so that is something to consider.

Comment by jacquesm 1 day ago

That's the main downside of divorce, not of having children or the custody split.

Comment by 47282847 18 hours ago

To add to the additional risks and complications mentioned already in this thread: it is an open question what later life consequences IVF/ICSI has on the person born from it. Studies imply a range of health issues that may be related, even just considering effects on the mental state of the parents and their subsequent willingness/ability to emotionally bond with the child.

Comment by whycome 1 day ago

In the year 2062, freezing of eggs is mandatory at age 19.

Comment by iso-logi 1 day ago

This seems probable. Much like near universal consumption of birth control for woman.

It's entirely a cost equation right now though.

I do think its all a bit dystopian though.

Comment by 1 day ago

Comment by tonymet 1 day ago

Employers encouraging egg freezing by offering egg freezing benefits is an abysmal conflict of interest. Employers reap tremendous medium-term benefits and the woman bears all of the long-term risks -- in this case the biggest risk of all .

Employers should be required to pay for future maternity disability care insurance e.g. 2-3 years of maternal leave fully paid, elective at any time, even after they separate from the company. Also disability compensation in the event that fertility fails. e.g. $500k / missed fertility .

That would reveal the true success rate of the procedure. If employers or fertility clinics believed it to be a deterministic process, the risks for the employer would be low.

Comment by silexia 15 hours ago

How about if we change our culture to make it acceptable and praiseworthy to get married at 18 again?

Comment by Teever 1 day ago

> Lastly, the stem cells we're planning to use to make these eggs accrue mutations with age, and we don't currently have a good method to fix these before making them into eggs. These mutations will bring additional risk of various serious diseases, only some of which we currently have the genetic screening to detect.

I've always found this one fascinating. Somehow human cells age and humans get old and die but humans can somehow make an entirely new creature through reproduction where that is reset and most of the defects from the parent are gone as well.

How does that work and what stumbling blocks exist that prevent us from replicating it?

Comment by gopalv 1 day ago

> Somehow human cells age and humans get old and die but humans can somehow make an entirely new creature through reproduction where that is reset

I think the eggs aren't dividing as you age (you are born with them, so to speak) and the sperm is held "outside" the body.

One is in original packaging and the other is produced in a "cooler" enviroment by the billions with a heavy QA failure of 99.9999%.

Comment by strangefellow 1 day ago

I don't know anything about this subject, but I thought it was just natural selection that effectively filtered out the 'bad eggs', as it were. On that same note, I've worried about the effects that modern medicine might have in short-circuiting evolution/natural selection. Would love to hear from someone with qualifications to speak on this matter.

Comment by xyzzy_plugh 1 day ago

Modern medicine absolutely short-circuits natural selection. If you have an older sibling who was delivered via C-section chances are you wouldn't exist.

Comment by shrubble 1 day ago

That’s not true for the USA however.

The large award for a medical malpractice trial was the reason for doctors pushing for a C-section if there’s any possibility of a complication. (Sometimes called defensive medicine.)

Most people point to the cases won by John Edwards, trial lawyer and vice presidential candidate as the reason for the great increase in C-sections. His case wins include 30 trials at which he won at least $1 million dollars each.

Comment by DanielHB 1 day ago

In my generation (80s-90s) pretty much everyone in Brazil that was born in a hospital was born through C-section. Only recently did the practice of defaulting to c-section is beginning to fade.

Comment by 1 day ago

Comment by rendall 1 day ago

Modern medicine is part and parcel of natural evolution. There is no short-circuiting of evolution. That's not a thing.

Comment by vintermann 20 hours ago

It's not quite reset. Harmful mutations do accumulate. Sexual reproduction is how we keep up with them - the selection effect (probably most of it at the sperm stage?) pushes it so that you're more likely to get a child with the less-damaged sides of their parents's DNA.

Comment by Waterluvian 1 day ago

We’re were photocopying photocopies. But I guess if you’re taking two copies and tracing a third that is based on them but doesn’t actually have to be a facsimile, it gives nature more flexibility?

Like I’m not sure it actually works this way but I can intuit why it’s possible, given the new life doesn’t have to be an exact replication.

Comment by pbh101 1 day ago

Isn’t that what stem cell therapy is?

Comment by colechristensen 1 day ago

There are a bunch of mechanisms in sperm/eggs for better protection/repair/removal by suicide than in any other tissue. It makes sense that these evolved to be the best in these cells compared to any other. Also other tissues might have significantly worse problems having cells kill themselves instead of continuing to operate with a corrupted genome.

Comment by micromacrofoot 1 day ago

Naturally the reset happens before most cells have grown, part of the trick in doing it with grown humans is doing so without destroying existing tissue or causing cancer.

It's almost like trying to change the flavor of a cake after it's been baked. Significantly easier to swap out ingredients before it's that far in the process.

Comment by nsonha 18 hours ago

Why is it not "as soon as possible"?

Comment by nQQKTz7dm27oZ 1 day ago

[dead]

Comment by the_real_cher 1 day ago

It's wild that in the year 2026 modern science can't recreate a SINGLE cell (which is what a human egg/ovum is).

Comment by arjie 1 day ago

Well, that seems a bit reductive because nothing can create a single cell right now. All cells are self-copied-and-divided. Omnis cellula e cellula, as they say. There is no cell constructor anywhere. Both Nature and Artifice use the same device to make more cells: a previous cell.

Comment by ekjhgkejhgk 1 day ago

It wouldn't be wild if you understood how complex cells are.

Comment by peddling-brink 1 day ago

Trees are high technology. I’m not sure we’ll match that even in 100 years.

Comment by benlivengood 1 day ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mycoplasma_laboratorium describes the closest we've gotten; synthesizing the DNA and swapping it into an existing cell which then propagates the synthetic gene line.

Comment by DanielHB 1 day ago

To encode all the atomic data and relative position of a single human cell probably would take a good chunk of all the hard drives in the world. A cell is not like a silicon chip where 99% of it is just repeating the same patterns.

Comment by jokowueu 1 day ago

it's possible to convert stem cells or skin cells into functional egg cells (ova) in lab settings, though the technology remains experimental and not yet ready for routine clinical use

Comment by the_real_cher 1 day ago

I'm always reading about amazing stuff like this with modern medicine. Things that work great in lab settings: cures for cancer, organ scaffolding, regrowing teeth, etc etc.

Never hear about it again after the initial news.

Comment by njarboe 1 day ago

Lots of tech gets discovered, is heavily patented, and then 20 years late,r when that large first round of patents expire, people start working on and developing the tech.

Comment by greygoo222 1 day ago

"Regrowing teeth" started human trials last June. Development takes time.

And there is no single cure to cancer.

Comment by bonsai_spool 1 day ago

> Never hear about it again after the initial news.

Perhaps it is because you're not a specialist—all of these things are still worked on.

Comment by DANmode 1 day ago

Are you looking for an explanation,

or a fix,

for this?

(The fix is to consume less popular science types of sources.)

Comment by ravenstine 1 day ago

I honestly don't look forward to the day that we can do that. It may redefine our very existence more so than even automation.

Comment by greygoo222 1 day ago

That's exactly why I look forward to it!